If you are recovering from an addiction, it is common to experience a variety of emotions throughout your journey. Among these emotions, shame is quite common. Understanding and addressing shame is crucial when you are in recovery since it can impact your overall well-being and ability to maintain lasting sobriety.
Reasons Why People Feel Guilt and Shame
Shame and guilt are common emotions experienced by many people in recovery. These feelings often stem from actions that happened during times of substance use that conflicted with personal values and society’s expectations. Behaviors such as lying, stealing, or neglecting responsibilities can lead to a deep sense of remorse and self-blame.
- Guilt: Guilt can result from specific actions that violate one’s moral or ethical standards. It’s the feeling of remorse for having done something wrong.
- Shame: Shame relates to how one perceives their worth as a person. It’s the feeling of being fundamentally flawed or unworthy.
Why Shame is Common in Recovery
Shame is a common experience in addiction recovery for several reasons:
- Social stigma: Society often stigmatizes individuals struggling with addiction, labeling them as morally weak or flawed. This external judgment can reinforce internal feelings of shame.
- Past behaviors: Many people in recovery reflect on their past actions with regret. The memory of hurting loved ones, failing to meet responsibilities, or engaging in illegal activities can be a significant source of shame.
- Personal expectations: Unrealistically high self-expectations and perfectionism can lead to harsh self-criticism. Failing to meet these standards during active addiction can intensify feelings of shame.
Ways to Overcome Shame in Addiction Recovery
Overcoming shame is a critical part of the recovery process. Here are several strategies to help you manage and reduce feelings of shame:
- Acknowledge and accept your feelings. The first step to overcoming shame is to acknowledge and accept it. Denying or suppressing your emotions can lead to further distress. Understand that feeling shame is a natural response to past substance use, but it does not define your worth or character.
- Show yourself compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. Self-compassion involves recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and you are not alone in your struggles. By being gentle and patient with yourself, you can reduce the negative thoughts that fuel shame.
- Take part in therapy. Therapy can be a powerful tool in addressing shame. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to shame. Additionally, therapy provides a safe space to explore and process past behaviors and their emotional impact.
- Participate in support groups. Support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA), provide a community of individuals who understand your experiences. Sharing your story and hearing others’ stories can help you feel less isolated and more understood. The mutual support within these groups can be a significant source of strength and encouragement.
- Develop healthy relationships. Surround yourself with people who support your recovery and understand your journey. Positive relationships can provide emotional support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. Avoid individuals or situations that trigger negative emotions or encourage substance use.
- Practice being mindful. Mindfulness and meditation can help you stay present and reduce rumination on past mistakes. These practices encourage self-awareness and acceptance, allowing you to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Over time, mindfulness can help reduce the intensity of shame and foster a more balanced perspective.
- Set realistic goals. Setting and achieving small, realistic goals can help rebuild your self-esteem and sense of accomplishment. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and recognize that recovery is a journey with ups and downs.
- Get creative. Creative activities, such as writing, painting, or music, can provide an outlet for expressing and processing emotions. They can also help you explore your feelings in a nonjudgmental way and be therapeutic in overcoming shame.
- Help others. Helping others can shift your focus away from your own struggles and foster a sense of purpose and connection. Volunteering or offering support to fellow individuals in recovery can remind you of your inherent value and the positive impact you can have on others.
Recovery is a process, and every step you take towards healing is a testament to your strength and resilience. Your past does not define you, and with time and effort, you can create a future filled with hope and possibility. Mountain Laurel Recovery Center in Westfield, Pennsylvania, offers support for those struggling with substance use disorders. Please contact us today to learn more about our programs and services and how we can put you on the path to a lasting recovery.
